Consistency is Key
Things have been hard lately. I am sleep-deprived. It feels like now that I am a father, I should have my shit together a little more, but I keep learning and discovering the ways that I fall short of my expectations and the expectations that I think others, especially my family, has of me.
Consistency is one of the things I struggle with the most. Not with any one thing in particular, but just in general. I feel like I need to be more of a rock for my family, but with so much change so quickly all the time, learning to roll with the punches has been challenging.
Pre-K (before kid(s))
Pre-child, being consistent was more of an afterthought. I was able to use as many apps and journaling methods to try and keep my life on the rails to focus on and accomplish my goals. A child will take your whole organized world and turn that shit upside down in the most beautiful way you can imagine.
In no way, shape, or form do I regret having my daughter. She brings me seemingly infinite joy (and stress at times ;) ) and seeing my wife hold her close and be such an amazing mother to our little one fills me up in a way I never thought possible. But there are adjustments to other parts of my life that I am still navigating.
My wife would kick me for complaining about being sleep deprived, but I do feel sleep deprived, even though she wakes up more frequently than I do to take care of our baby. I think a lot of the chaos stems from the lower quality and quantity of sleep I get. From there I find I lose motivation because of the lack of energy, and the lack of motivation leads to slacking with organization systems previously in place to accomplish my goals.
As time goes on and our baby grows older, I am told that her sleep patterns will become more regular and I can expect to get my sleep hours back in quantity and quality. These days of sleep deprivation should be short-lived
One of my goals is to get 3 new posts/articles on this website a week. I have some LoFi hip-hop playing on Youtube right now and I am just doing my best to stay awake and get this one thing accomplished tonight.
Are there other things that I wish I was able to take care of today? Of course, I need to stay positive and be thankful that I was able to knock out the things that I did, and I am proud that I am sitting at my desk typing out something rather than thinking about it, or "brainstorming".
Another goal is to get this IT certification exam knocked out in the next few months. One of my certifications will be expiring towards the end of the year and I need to get it renewed.
It has been getting pushed back over and over and over again, maybe over the last almost year now. It sounds even worse when I type it out... Trying to carve out the time to focus on the material and prepare for the test is just another challenge I am facing as I search for my new "balance".
Staying physically in shape has also become more important since having
Relax vs Grind
I miss playing on my Nintendo Switch. But if I chose to chill and game tonight instead of sitting down and writing this out, I would not miss writing for my blog, I would regret it. I would regret not sticking to a goal and being consistent. I want to feel less regret for my lack of consistency.
Not gonna lie, I am still pretty bummed about not getting the chance to sit down and play some Mario on one of the old retro systems like the GameBoy or the Super Nintendo. Mario day did just pass, March 10. But life is more than doing what will bring me immediate gratification. I must remember to focus on delayed gratification. The short-term "fixes" for accomplishment are fleeting and many times empty and false, but when you work hard at something and learn to push yourself, this I feel can bring one closer to true fulfillment and happiness.
I want to continue being present as a father, productive as an employee, and consistent when it comes to my projects. Knocking one small thing a day that is outside of my duties to my family and duties to my employer, will slowly help to establish a new cadence and consistency in this new chapter of my life.